I knew she wanted kids and that she took it for granted that the man she
married
would be able to deliver the goods. She would pray in her bedroom each
evening; her mother who wasn't a Christian at the time would peer into
the bedroom to ask what she was doing.
"I'm praying for Mr Right to come along".
Her Mother responded by saying "well here's a fiver, go down the pub
and find him".
Lorraine assured her Mom that he wouldn't be down there,
she'd spent a lot of time in pubs in the past and had already found too many
Mr Wrongs in them. Lorraine continued: "in fact God could bring him to the
very door if He wanted."
"Oh," said her mom, " you mean the man of your dreams could be the
window-cleaner."
"Er no," came Lorraine's reply, she had seen the tradesman in question
and it definitely wouldn't be the window-cleaner.

It was some time after that, that I walked up Lorraine and her Mom's path
and knocked on their door. Here I was; Lorraine's Mr Right, well Paul
Poulton actually.
A blind date had been arranged by some friends and God's power spoken about
by Lorraine - to bring
her earthly mate to her front door - had proved to be true. We were soon
in love and making plans for the future.

"Oh", was all Lorraine said, when I told her about my inability to provide
her with posterity. I filled the ensuing silence by saying "well.... have a
think about it and pray about it, don't make a glib decision, because it's
easy when your in your twenties to say 'oh well' if we can't have kids, so
be it', try to imagine being in your forties with no children. Some people
are destined to be kindred spirits and that could be us, with or
without children."

I spent the interim period in some consternation, knowing I could lose
Lorraine.
But my hope was in the Lord, and if that was His will, I would fall into
line. I know that His will is always the best for us even when we are
walking through the fire.
The next time we saw each other, Lorraine was the first to bring the subject
up.
"You know you asked me to have a think about what
you told me, well, I hope you don't mind but I had a chat with my Mom about
it,"
"Er... no, that's okay," I replied a little unsure if it was a good idea
or not. Lorraine continued, "and my brother Allan happened to be visiting so I
mentioned it to him too, and his wife and my sister Carol and her husband."
"Oh right, I see." I said knowing that by now Lorraine's whole extended
family -
which is probably most of Wolverhampton, (she has a large family,) -
probably knew my most intimate secret. But Lorraine had been praying for Mr
Right, she told me, not lots of little Master Rights, and I was relieved to
hear that she believed I was her's, whatever the future might hold.

"So what exactly is the problem?" she asked as the tension began to ease.
Mr J Cottam who was Consultant Urologist at Dudley Road Hospital,
Birmingham, England had written to me saying
"I think one would be raising hopes on an impossible situation by suggesting
that anything can be
done to enable you to be a father."
I had been seeing him because a previous relationship I'd had, proved to be
childless, I was found to be the
culprit with hardly any sperm and those I had were deformed or swam around
in circles. It was hard to tell how my wife from that relationship took
the news. We got divorced when I found out she had been seeing other men.
Lorraine too, had been married before, she had lived a jet-setting life as a
fashion model and ended up living in Venice beach (where Bay Watch used to
be filmed) in LA. It was there that Christ burst into her life one Monday
morning in 1984, she came back to England and divorced her husband because
he had started living with another women and fathered a child. So we were
both a bit shell shocked, but after two and a quarter years Lorraine walked
up the aisle in my own church and we tied the knot before God, and we tied
it good and proper this time.

During our first six years of marriage no children appeared, however we did
not let it get us down but in the spirit of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego
we said "our God is able to give us children but even if He doesn't we will
still rejoice in the God of our salvation". Each morning we would get
before the Lord and pray, read the bible, sing and even dance before him.
He had blessed us so much with salvation, and each other, we had much to
rejoice about. Not that Satan didn't bring to our attention parents who
seemed to have children with different partners and then treat the children
in a very poor way. We were never really tempted to ask why.

Lorraine thought that as so many years had gone by since my last visit to
the consultant, maybe we should go again. There are new treatments
available, so I willingly agreed and off we went to our GP to get referred.
We saw Mr JFWatts Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist this time.
After several visits he wrote to us saying
"Unfortunately this again has confirmed a very poor sperm count. This
count, therefore, would not be
amenable to any form of treatment. The quality of the sperm is so poor also
that it would not be suitable for artificial insemination or even In Vitro
Fertilisation." We also went independently to a fertility clinic who again
refused to treat us. So that, as they say, was that.

Or was it? Faith is an amazing gift and often shows itself in ways that are
completely
uncontrived. I was getting a lot of mail from abroad at that time, so I
started collecting the stamps and putting them in an album, because; I found
myself thinking: 'Boys like collecting things, so these colourful stamps
will come in useful. It was almost a subconscious thought. I've heard of
widows
who still lay the table for their recently departed husband only realising
afterwards what they have done. Saving the postage stamps was an inversion
of the widow's act, as I look back on it now I realise it was a real act of
faith, not something I did, to let God know I had faith. As if you can
twist
His arm behind His back and force Him into submission by saying, 'Look, Lord
I'm saving stamps, I really am believing.' Mental gymnastics is not faith.

As we were travelling home in the car one day Lorraine asked me outright.
"Do you think we will ever have children"? I had never been asked quite as
bluntly as that before. I thought before I answered, hmmm...if I say 'I'm
not sure', it would show a lack of faith that God isn't going to answer our
prayers and when He sees that I am doubting, He might not answer them - for
we prayed often for children. But then I told myself to forget the mental
contortions and say what I really thought. I knew I would be going on the
record with what ever I said, but the truthful answer is, yes, I do believe
God will bless us with children, simply because I have known Him
since I was five and If there's one thing I have learned that He is Good.
"Showing love to thousands of those who love Him and keep His commandments"
You can't know someone for most of your life without knowing how they will
react in a given set of circumstances. Of course you might not always get
it right, but I think I know how my Dad would react if
someone were to give him a surprise birthday party, for instance. I think
also that I have seen my Heavenly Father work many times in my life:
through the trauma of failed relationships, through two years of illness,
through the lessons He has taught me day by day. So I answered Lorraine
truthfully from my perspective: yes I think God will bless us with a family.
So we delighted ourselves in the Lord, knowing that He knew the desires of
our hearts.

It's worth mentioning that several Pastors gave us words of encouragement.
One particular event stands out. We had taken our neighbours to hear
Reinhart Bonnke - the German Evangelist - at a park in Birmingham.
After Reinhart had preached he began to use the gifts of the Spirit,
he said that there were various people in the gathering who had different
ailments
and then said that there were a couple there who were barren, as he said
that I knew
somehow that he was talking about us, even though there were thousands of
people there.
He then asked all the people he had previously mentioned to place their hand
on the affected
part of their bodies. With me standing right next to my neighbours that
simple request
was no easy task.

Sometime later Lorraine came downstairs one morning with a little bottle, it
looked like
diluted orange juice - it's a good job I didn't drink it. Off we went to
the Health Centre to get it tested for pregnancy hormones. Once there we
sat in a little room whilst the nurses
took the specimen away,
Lorraine and I looked at each other not knowing what kind of look to have on
our faces. After a while I could hear the nurses returning along the
corridor to our little room, as they walked they were laughing, I
reasoned to myself that they wouldn't be laughing that near to the room
where
we sat if the test was negative, they would be a bit more sensitive.
Suddenly in
they came with smiles on their faces.
"Yes, it's positive!" were their first words.
Praise God! was my response. Lorraine cried, I laughed.

We went straight from the Health
Centre - in a state of euphoria - to visit a middle aged lady who was
terminally ill in hospital. It brought us down to earth as we talked with
her and I laid my hands on her and asked God for her healing. She wasn't
healed but died some weeks later. God gives and God takes away, blessed be
the name of the Lord. It seems that when God ministers in a special way, we
are buffeted that we might not become conceited. Though Lorraine and I had
experienced a miracle we would still have an occasional argument, we would
still stumble, it hadn't made us super-saints, but channels for God's glory.
Only God could display His greatness using weak humans like us.
All the glory must go to Him through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Nine months later Lorraine's waters broke at about 1:00am
Monday morning. So off we went to the hospital, but it was a long
labour. Wednesday morning the baby still
hadn't appeared. I had heard that giving birth was hard work but I had
never experienced it before, and to make matters worse, Lorraine was quite
tired too...

The baby was a hefty 9lbs 7oz and we named him Isaac. I had laughed at news
of his conception, not unlike Abraham who fell on his face laughing when he
heard news of his impending fatherhood. - Gen 17:17
Isaac means laughter. However Lorraine had cried when she found out news
that she was going to be a Mom. Yet at his birth it was I who was crying
and Lorraine who was laughing - too much
laughing gas I think - I could see that the baby that had finally been born
was a boy, but I couldn't get the words out. Lorraine was saying "what is
it?" I was too emotional to say: seeing God's goodness at such close
quarters it cracked me up.

Isaac is now six years old. I have written a song about
him called 'Little Boy.' He went to bed one night and I began to write it
but couldn't sing it because with every sentence I burst into tears. Which
is pretty unusual for me, but as Watchman Nee said: the one thing that God
is trying to do with us our whole life is to break us, that the fragrance of
His Holy Spirit may flow out. However, God has given me strength to sing it
in my concerts and I heard the other day that it has become popular on a
couple of American radio-stations. It was written for Isaac but It's for
all parents and children everywhere.

Little Boy by Paul Poulton

little boy sitting at my feet
little boy you make life so sweet
little boy playing with a toy
little boy you give your daddy so much joy
I can't help but be poetic and waxing lyrical
your mom and I love you you're our little miracle

and as you grow and chances come your way
look before you leap and take some time to pray
remember to be strong with the temptations that you meet
and if you fall, well, get back up on your feet
some people seem so cold their hearts are tough and scarred
always keep yours open don't let it grow hard

little boy jumping on my feet
little boy you've made my life complete
little boy pointing at that star
little boy you've brought me on so far
remember God's your heavenly father
Jesus is your friend
His Spirit will be with you onto the very end

and as you grow, grow to be a man
remember that I love you
I've tried to teach you what I can
so hold on to your faith, faith in God above
He'll fill you with His joy, and let you share His love
if people try to hurt you or treat you like a fool
don't be moved by anger let the peace of Christ rule

little boy splashing in the bath
little boy making everybody laugh
little boy I love to see you dance
little boy you're the fruit of our romance
they said we couldn't have you they said it would not be
but Jesus had some other plans for your mom and me

everyone must work
we have to pay the bills
practice makes perfect learn to hone you skills
I've told you about Jesus, Joseph and Mary
I need to tell you that this world we're in is only temporary
but our mouths will fill with laughter in God's new universe
when we're all together in the new Heavens and new earth

one day you'll be a
big boy so be humble and be meek
big boy try to think before you speak
big boy don't throw stones and sticks
big boy live by Matthew 5 and 6
may God's face shine upon you
as through this earth you roam
may His angels protect you until you're safely home